Who is this irrationally frantic and easily aggrivated person, and where did my sane, sunny demeanor escape to? I swear this baby has sucked out, not only my brain waves (I tried to put two socks on one foot yesterday much to my husband's amusement), but my pleasing disposition as well.

You hear the horror stories of sobbing, emotionally out of control pregnant women, but this is something else. I don't cry (that much, anyways, not much more then typical at any rate). But I have recently garnered the patience level of a toddler. I spend a large part of my day just plain old IRRITATED. With everyone who DOESN'T matter and who aren't really doing anything wrong (to me, anyways, to the rest of the world at large, I can't say). Like the person hesitating at the stop light at Meijer so I miss my opportunity and have to wait through a whole other round. Or the person who calls and tells me that in HIS opinion I should have to spend the hour and a half on the phone with his insurance company "if I want to get paid", because its not "his responsiblity". Or the poster on babycenter.com who stated that she was going to get through the financial hardships of her pregnancy and birth with governement assistance, and everyone else should quit their jobs and follow suit because who cares that you people are all paying for me to not work and instead try out for american idol while you all struggle to make ends meet doing the right and ethical thing by being responsible members of society?

No wonder my blood pressure is so mugh higher then normal when I have my monthly prenatal visits. I wonder if my doctor would take into account "annoyance" when making his observations.

So what am I going to combat this crazy psychotic episode that I am having? Well, today I started off with putting on a very soft and warm sweater, because it is chilly and I love sweaters. (no good came of it) Then I made myself a hot cup of delicious tea (didn't work). Then I put on a cd of Jim Dale reading Harry Potter. He's British and does all the voices, and its fantastic. (although, it still didn't work) Then I ate some comfy cozy oatmeal. (nothin) I systematically sorted and organized my work for the day. (no dice) I changed my screen background to something autumnish. (still irritated) And, now, after my lunch that wasn't fried at all and therefore not what either me or baby REALLY wanted today (don't onion rings sound good?), I am attempting to listen to some soothing music. A note: last night I put in Yanni for my drive home hoping to curb the road rage, but that Meijer Joker really messed with my zen. Anyhow, we'll see where this gets me. The effect is sort of ruined when I keep having to answer patient phone calls and therefore be brought back to reality.

I really don't like getting so worked up over such menial things. This is a hugely joyful time in my life! I am so incredibly blessed by God that I can't even express all the wonderful things He has done for me...

So why can't I just show it? Why can't I glow and shine and radiate all the gratefulness that I have in my heart? Instead, I just keep (Oh. My. Gosh. I seriously just received a tellemarketing call for dish network! This is insanity!) flaring my nose and taking deep breaths like I am training for battle. A battle to get my sunny personality back...