http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/30/living/tweens-sexy-too-soon/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
My two children are still a ways off from tweenage-hood, being 19 months and 3 years old... but this article gave me pause this morning and I am curious as to what other parents and not-as-yet parents of our generation are planning to do to prevent this pheneomenom from disrupting childhood.
Mike and I have made some pretty lofty claims thus far, ranging from "no cell phones until they drive" to "no dating until junior year of high school". I already refuse to dress Alice in anything that has snotty commentary on it- such as "princess", "diva" or the like. We conscientously chose to not subscribe to cable, and therefore Jonah is limited to only pbs cartoons or kid shows and we don't keep sugary treats in our house unless its a special occassion. These ideals work for us now, but I realize its foolish to assume that we won't ever change our minds. I know this, but I can't help but feel really sad already for the lack of innocence that my children's childhood will likely contain. In our home we can make our own rules, but what of outisde the home? Schools, movies, friends houses? It sickens me to think of what is out there online for kids to find! When is too soon for a child to have facebook? Watch PG 13 movies? Play outside in the front yard by themselves?
Just one example: those "50 Shades of Grey" books are everywhere in the news. Now I'm not writing to tell you my opinion on whether or not your should read them. I don't care. I'm not, because I'm not mature enough. It busts my gut not to read something that everyone else is reading, but I just can't. It skeeves me out to read graphic romance novels and from what I can tell, these are on the hardcore side of graphic. Not my cup of tea. Anyways, I was reading about them this morning and had the thought, "would I want Al to read these?" At what age would I be okay with her reading something like that? More to the point, at what age would Mike be okay with her reading something like that? How many twelve year old girls with moms, grandma's, babysitters, older sisters who have read these books are going to sneak them out and read them? Afterall, moms and daughters across America read Twilight together, and "Shades" started off as a Twilight fanfiction... its basically just taking it a step further, right? Well, maybe a HUUUUGE step, but I digress.
I guess my conclusion is (and like I said, its liable to change and morph as I grow as a parent), children will look to their parents first as rolemodels. If my son overhears Mike making some lewd comment about a busty server at an IHOP, he's likely to do the same. He completely idolizes his dad in every way. No exception. If I start leaving the house dressed like Rihanna, Alice will do the same. She will see the attention, negative or positive, that I recieve and will want the same.
If our kids see us on our smartphones, making fun of some poor sap on youtube while drinking a high calorie latte and complaining about our cottage cheese thighs... they will do the same.
However, if our kids see us playing outside, turning off our phones, baking cookies (even if its from a tube), watching family friendly movies and lending a helping hand to a stranger... they will do the same. If they see their father and mother hug at the end of a long day apart, they will expect the same. If they see their dad planting in his garden or cheering at a soccer game, they will do the same. If they see their mom digging for worms or reading a book or pretneding to hunt dragons... they will do the same.
I can't control what my kids see other people do. I can only hope and pray that they will weigh it against what I have instilled in them from birth and maybe, just maybe, they will come out the better for it.
So readers (if there are any of you still out there...), what about you?
