Hello. My name is Erin and I am a celebrity gossip addict. And I hate it! I really really do! Not enough to stop, I suppose. I mean, how does that saying go? "You really have to want to change..." And I don't. But I do. Does that make sense?
I can't stand that I hungrily devour the high-end tabloids (at least I have the presense of mind to avoid the "bat boy found in southern missouri" articles) while I'm standing in line at Meijers. I pretend (okay, maybe I'm not completely pretending) that I am just super anal and have to have all my groceries grouped together by frozen/refridgerated/pantry/paper goods/ bathroom items (which, by the way, is really a key organizational tool that everyone should try at least once), but really I'm just taking my sweet time decifering for myself whose "secret-celebrity-cellulite-covered-thighs" those are in the grainy Maibu Beach shots. I'm pretty good at figuring it out, too... I mean.... those uber thin party girls didn't get that way from working out with a trainer. More like subsisting on iceburg lettuce (which everyone knows, holds no nutritional value) and martinis. Who am I to judge though? My cellulite situation is no better off.
And what about those fake celebrity news shows on at like six o'clock at night? I tell myself that I really should flip the channel during the next commercial break to the "World News" or "Nightly News" or whatever. I mean, I am single-handedly feeding every angry (and rightfully so, I might add) foreigner's argument that young Americans are self-centered and clueless about real issues. Such as third world poverty and the war in the middle east. But as shallow as it may seem, I soak up the sordid affairs of infamous hollywood actresses with much more ease and interest then I do the daily activities of the Jihad.
Don't get me wrong. I do make an effort. I was a sociology major, for Pete's sake. I lived, breathed and frequently quoted opression on both the world wide and national scale for several years. I listen to NPR on my morning commute and scan CNN, BBC and MSN.com each and every lunch hour to assure that I am up on my current events. I try to break the image, honestly I do.
I just find People.com and EW.com considerably more to my liking.
Each and every day, I am clicking through the photos under the headings of "caught in the act" or "they do it, too". I'm facinated with the proof that these unobtainable celebs drink coffee and walk their dogs and buy spaghetti noodles. Just. Like. Me.
But here is where the overwhelming guilt comes in. Princess Diana. One careless and sinister act and I have been forever shamed. I can shake my head with the rest of the world, mourning such a horribly tragedy, and yet in the same moment, click on yet another revealing site. I know it is terrible. And wrong. And pathetic. But there it is for you. I still do it.
And some of you may judge me. Some of you are way above such lowly obsessions. I tip my hat to you. Good for you. You are among the few either truely strong-willed, or those that in my husband's words "could really care less"... I admire you most fervently.
But for the rest of us... I fear we are at a loss.
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