This is actually happening

I have hit a milestone, my friends.  I spent yesterday afternoon, while Al was napping and Jones was Math-gaming (ie: his version of quiet time), brainstorming plot.  For me, this is a highly technical process that I perfected in my angsty teenaged years of sitting in a comfy chair, blaring emo music (via headphones, nowadays) and scratching out dialogue and random song lyrics in a big notebook.

HIGHLY technical. 

But, Erin, you say, that's just what every teenager does.  Sits alone, being gloomy/willfully misunderstood and listening to alt rock.

Indeed. Forget for a minute that I am thirty... er...thirty one. It works, right?

Back on topic, though, my MILESTONE. I started plotting out the last quarter or so of my story.  You know: where should I end this one and where to start the next one?  Do I resolve or just keep building, building, BUILDING tension towards a cliffhanger?  In making my decisions, I was struck with the startling realization that I am going to FINISH WRITING A BOOK.

And I am terrified.

In all my twenty years of wanting to be an author, in jotting plot bunnies down on scrap paper and jabbing them in random places, only to be found and puzzled over months and years and Major Life Events later, it never actually occurred to me that I could finish something. 

Of course the movies and their soundtracks have played endlessly in my head before falling asleep.  And I've perfected my NPR interview.  But to actually have the end in sight??? 

It is completely daunting. 

I need an agent.  I need to write cover letters.  I need to get rejected 7 million times, so I need to get started RIGHT NOW.

Of course, I still need to finish the book. 

And there are the other two books in the series that I need to be concerned about.

So I should just chill out.  And rest in the knowledge that God already knows how my particular plot plays out and He's written a fantastic story for me full of ups, downs and of course, cliffhangers.